Friday, February 19, 2010

The life of a Motorolla pager who only uses lyrics of Beyonce songs to express himself

All the single beepers, all the single beepers

Pinocchio syndrome


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

My encounter with Chainsaw from Summer School

I would like to start off my second entry by explaining that I don't intend for this to be a place where I brag about my chance meetings of obscurely famous people. These funny things have just happened to me recently and I feel compelled to share them. I spent the month of January in Southern California visiting some friends and hanging out with the weird kelp on the beach of the Pacific Ocean. I made it to Hollywood and somehow found myself at a bar on Hollywood Blvd. with microphone in hand, standing next to "Chainsaw" from the movie Summer School. Well...let me back-up and explain how I got put in this wonderful situation. That day was rainy and my intentions were to sight-see in Hollywood. To get some refuge from the rain my friend and I ducked into a bar to get a beer. Here the bartender alerted us that later in the evening there was to be live-band karaoke, with one famous band member, none other than "Chainsaw" from Summer School, Dean Cameron! Can you imagine my excitement?! If you haven't seen this flick, I highly recommend it. Another classic from his career is Ski School (which features the most unapologetic display of one-piece, fluorescent ski suits ever)...moving on.

So we left the bar and went and looked at a bunch of stuff, Chinese Theater, Kodak Theater, Roosevelt Hotel, did the obligatory put my feet in Dick Van Dyke's foot prints, friend had to go into Frederick's of Hollywood to buy something for some chick, etc. But, like a beacon in the night, Chainsaw called to me and we ended up back at the place when karaoke was in full swing. The event was actually called Coreyoke because Chainsaw's band is called The Coreys in homage to...the Coreys (obvi). I wanted to sing but quickly found out that each song cost ten dollars! Welcome to HelLA! So, my friend ended up secretly signing me up for J. Giels Band, Angel in the Centerfold, which is one of my standards, and all of the sudden Chainsaw calls for "els bells"(name my friend signed me up as) and they start an AC/DC riff as my intro and I walk onto the "stage."

The performance was, I would say, a 6/10. I did ok, but I was way more nervous than I would have been at my usual haunts in Baltimore. Each member of The Coreys did fist bump me after the song ended, so I think they liked me somewhat. This musical moment did get captured in video form on a Blackberry, whether this footage will ever materialize, we will never know. That is why I am writing this blog now so that the memory of my time with Chainsaw can live forever on the internet via my moving words. The photo above shows Chainsaw rocking out with some possible ladies of the night who went after me. He is the one with the black mullet wig and big yellow arrow pointing to his head. I put that arrow on there so you could see which one he was. So, that's that story.

Stayed tuned next time for my series of drawings about a Motorola pager who speaks only in Beyonce lyrics.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


Hello out there! I have been putting off starting this blog for a very long time because I felt that the act of blogging was kind of self-indulgent. I think it's great if you're blogging about something neat that people can actually use, like knitting patterns or recipes, but I have very few skills and envisioned this blog as an avenue for me to post things I am moved by, either in a good or bad way. So this is my warning here: most things on this page will be mindless, absurd, goofy, ridiculous, silly, and sometimes-offensive. I might also add, a majority of these posts will be terribly boring because they will involve my scrutinizing of the mundane, day to day occurrences in my life. That being said, I am hoping to use this forum as a way to practice my writing, stay in touch with friends, and spread some funny thoughts.

So that is my spiel on what to expect here...moving on to more interesting things. This past weekend I went to see one of my favorite comedian/writers in the world, Michael Showalter. You may know him from The State, Stella, and Michael and Michael Have Issues, The Baxter, Wet Hot American Summer, etc. I have a problem of becoming very star struck even from very lame, B-list celebs. It stems from my obsession with pop culture, television, tabloids, and shows like ET and The Insider. All of these things have somehow invaded my existence and turn me into a giddy blob of pudding when I see remotely famous people, even ones I don't care about or admire.
But back to a man I do admire...Michael Showalter. Michael Ian Black and Show did stand up for about 2 hrs and then after wards Showalter stayed and hung out at the Ottobar and DJ'd. He walked around and was kind enough to chat and take photos with people. I had so much that I wanted to tell him about how I love his work and how I think he is really an inspiration to young goof balls like myself, but all I could muster out was "you're so awesome." Regardless I got to touch him and get my picture taken with him so I was ecstatic. If you have not been exposed to his work he has a lot online. The Showalter Showalter is a really funny fake-Charlie Rose-ish show that he puts out with a lot of other great people.

This video is one of my favorites. Enjoy and stay posted for more babble!